Bridget interviews Colin Firth

Colin: Yeah, among other things, that was, that was ten years ago. 

Bridget: But it was particularly brilliant when you came out of the water and everything. [giggles] Anyway, nice to meet you. 

Colin: Very nice to meet you, too. 

Bridget: We’re here to get to know the real Colin Firth, the complex man behind the wet shirt. [Colin bites lip] You know, when you were in Pride and Prejudice and you had to dive into the lake? 

Colin: Yes. 

Bridget: Well, when they wanted to do another take, would you take off the wet shirt and put a dry one on? 

Colin: I think I probably did. Yeah. And in this film actually, in the Peacebroker... 

Bridget: So, how many takes did you do? Diving into the actual lake? 

Colin: Well, all my bits were done in a tank in Ealing. The airborne bit that you see was done by a stuntman. 

Bridget: Well it looked just like Mr Darcy. 

Colin: Yes, because he had stuck on sideburns 

Bridget: So did you have a stunt double when you had to jump into the lake in Love Actually? 

Colin: No, the actual lake is only three feet deep. I had to do my scene sitting down. 

Bridget: So it was you in the water? 

Colin: Well, yes, obviously. All you can see is my face. 

Bridget: Was the actress sitting as well? The nice Italian one? 

Colin: Yes, we were both sitting down. 

Bridget: But isn’t she much shorter than you? 

Colin: Yeah, well, perhaps, she was kneeling. I don’t know. [whispers an aside] And she’s Portuguese. 

Bridget: You’d never be able to tell. Do you think that the writer-director of Love Actually, Richard Curtis, has spored his own gender of multi-narrative comedy? 

Colin: [stares blankly at Bridget, baffled] I’m sorry. 

Bridget: Do you think he has spored his own gender? 

Colin: [still baffled] Sorry, I’m not sure I understand what you mean. 

Bridget: [saying more emphatically] I mean, spored his own gender. 

Colin: [gives up trying to discern meaning] Well, I think the film’s very funny in places. Apart from Hugh Grant. Interestingly enough, in the Peacebroker, where I play a UN aid worker working in Rwanda... 

Bridget: [interrupting Colin] Sorry, is it true that, in the script for Pride and Prejudice, it had stage notes: “Imagine that Mark Darcy has an erection”? 

Colin: Yes, it is. 

Bridget: Was that very easy to, you know, act? [giggling]

Colin: The erection? 

[Bridget pretends to look embarrassed and nods yes]

Colin: Well, luckily, it was a headshot. 

Bridget: Oh. Is that something you do a lot? 

Colin: No, fortunately, it’s the only time I’ve ever had to simulate an erection. 

Bridget: Well, I don’t suppose you fall into a pond in your new film, do you? 

Colin: No, as you know, it’s set in a very famous drought and ... 

Bridget: [interrupting again] Can I just clear this up? You know, when you were in the wet shirt after the bit in the lake, did they have to keep spraying you with a squirter full of water? 

Colin: I don’t remember. I don’t know. Probably yes. They did, yes. They did. 

Bridget: Thank you, Colin. We wish you the best of luck in your new film. This is Bridget Jones with Mr Darcy. [laughs at her mistake] Sorry, Colin Firth on the set of Peacemaker. 

Colin: Broker. 

Bridget: Peacebroker. Thank you. 

[Interview ends and Colin starts unhooking the microphone from his shirt] 

Bridget: Well, that was great. Thank you. I’m sorry we didn’t get on to talking about your new film very much [shakes hands with Colin], but it was lovely to meet you at last. Can I just ask you, you know, when you were in the wet shirt and everything? 

Colin: Yeah. 

Bridget: Did you realize your nipples were showing through? 

Colin: Lovely to meet you. [said in a rush as if he can't get away from this crazy woman fast enough] 

Bridget: Bye. [shows incredulousness to camera; not  believing she’s talked with Colin Firth;then sniffs hand that touched him]